Never been more excited for a year to be over

Today is the last day...of the worst year of my life thus far. THANK GOD it's over!  I'm holding the door open, ready to give 2012 a swift kick in the ass and help it get the F out. This year was plagued by tragedy..not only for me, but for the world. With each new year...comes new hope, new dreams and hopefully new miracles. We're all ready to hit the reset button and start over. Is it just a facade that a new year brings new hope? Or is it the same stagnate realities with an extra number attached to it? Only time will tell.

All I'll ever remember about the year 2012 is that it was the year my baby died. That's it. All other smiles, giggles, firsts, & joyous occasions are erased and over written with sorrow. You see, the beginning of this years focus was just getting pregnant. The middle of this years focus was keeping that baby safe, and the end of this year was consumed with mourning the loss of that life. My 2012 was consumed.

The coming of 2013 is bittersweet. I'm terrified for what it holds. I know getting through March will be difficult. Forget about September ...I can't even think about the end of that month. I even hate saying the name "September". I'm also terrified because what if 2013 comes and goes and Joe and I still don't have a baby? I'm not in control, God is, and that terrifies me. I am scared for 2013, but I'm also ready. 2013 means a new start. It means I went through hell and survived. It means as much as I hate to admit it, I am stronger.  My resolution for 2013 is to live each day and not just exist. Here's to hoping that 2013 is a year filled of joy, happiness, hope for a better tomorrow,  and a bunch of sleepless nights filled with baby kisses.

THIS HAS TO BE MY YEAR!