I haven't written since my second hardest loss hit. I lost my first "child", my companion, my soul sister, my boo-boo bunny....my sissy. This heart-wrenching loss feels different than my loss of Joey. I talk about Joey all the time. But I can't bring myself to talk about Anna, or look at her toys, or finger through pictures of her. If I do, I lose my breath. My stomach feels sunken in, and I just can't seem to take a breath. It's a heavy feeling. This loss is different because she was all I had, for so long. I know the age old saying is a mans best friend is his dog, but they missed the mark by not mentioning soul mate. I think about her everyday. I remind myself of what her fur felt like, where her unique markings were, the special spots on her lips where I would lay my all encompassing kiss on. I'm afraid these images will fade soon and it terrifies me. I still have her pillow with her pillow case unwashed. I won't clean it. I won't lose the smell of her or the fibers of hair she has left behind. She shared in all my special events and went everywhere with me. I hate the thought that she is missing out on these days. That she is missing out on Kessa. They would be the best of friends today...I just know it. She stuck around long enough to see my broken heart mended by the arrival of Kessa. She knew her place; she knew her time. I just wasn't ready to say goodbye. She moved on, March 25th 2014.
This is the last picture taken before she crossed the Rainbow Bridge.
Today was a particularly hard day missing Anna.
I wanted to quickly view a video of her...just to refresh my memory...ya know, out of fear of forgetting. This video is one that is priceless to me. My 2 babies...sharing in a moment.
I guess this is hitting me particularly hard, because September is a month of loss for me. Joey on September 22nd and now my friend Kelly on September 8th.
There are some new beginnings...just on the horizon.
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